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When my
head was down by my
feet, I
looked back at you.
I know my
face was on
fire, but I couldn’t stop.
This was
better than all my
fantasies.
I stepped out of my
panties, and turned around to face you, naked.
I heard you gasp and clear your
throat.
You said, Drape yourself in the scarf. Boys fuck
share that boy.
I did as you said and you took
pictures of me naked, twirling with the scarf, draped in the scarf, and
lying on my back with the scarf
trailing over me.
It was
wonderful.
To hear your voice the
way I imagined it, and know all your attention was on me was exhilarating. 2016
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I became
bolder and began to touch myself the way I wanted you to touch me.
I was lying on my back,
completely exposed,
playing with my
nipples for you.
Your
voice was a caress as you
said, That’s
right, baby,
give me that.
Touch
yourself.
I closed my eyes and imagined your
mouth on me.
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On my nipples.
First
one, and then the other.
Licking me,
sucking me, nibbling gently and then harder.
I arched my back and
groaned.
I wanted to feel your hands on my body.
I felt myself
begin to
get hot.
Is this
how all the
other women
feel when you take
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Like they
are sharing their
secrets with you? You
moved closer to me so the
camera was pointed
between my
legs.
I opened them for you, and touched
myself there.
God,
yes, was all you said.
I put my
fingers in my mouth and sucked on them until they were
wet.
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Then I ran them over my clit in a circular motion.
I
imagined your
tongue there.
Yes, just
let go,
baby.
Give it all to me.
Ohhh, I
wanted to give it all to you.
That’s all I could think
about—how
much I wanted you to
take me.
I could feel my
pussy opening,
getting ready
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I
closed my
eyes and just felt all the
pleasure of my hands.
I began
moving my hips in response to the motions,
rubbing my
clit harder and faster.
Oh my God, I was going to cum.
Yes baby,
cum for me.
Go ahead.
My breathing was
coming harder and
faster and my
whole body was
rocking with need and desire.
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Every thought in my head was
filled with you: letting you
have me,
giving myself to you, touching you, pleasing you.
I was
moaning and
saying yes over and over.
Everything
else had disappeared except for the fire I felt building
inside me, wanting to be released. Free
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I felt
the spasms coming and knew I was
ready to
fall over the
edge of the cliff.
As they took me, I let my breath out and screamed.
your
name.
Oh no!
Someone please tell me I didn’t just say that out
loud.
Anything but
his name.
When it was over, I couldn’t move. My
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I was afraid to open my eyes.
I knew you heard me.
I was mortified.
What had I
done? I felt your hand on my shoulder.
Ash, are you ok? I felt like saying, No, just
leave me
here to
die of my embarrassment.
How would I ever be able to face you
now? I turned away
from you and
started to get
dressed.
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When I was done, I picked up the scarf and draped it across the mirror.
You came up behind me, but didn’t touch me.
That was incredible.
I
got some great
shots.
Thanks.
I couldn’t move.
Thanks? Thanks? Are you
freaking kidding me? I just basically enacted my
darkest desires in front of you and all you
can say is thanks? Transvestite
woman fucking transvestite men. Wait, maybe that was a good
thing.
If you thought I was just playing for the
camera, we could get through this and still be able to work together
without it
being weird.
I decided to act like
nothing happened and
just get on with business as usual.
I
began straightening up the studio as you walked
out carrying the camera.
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About fifteen minutes passed and then it was business as usual.
The
next client was here.
Danielle had located a replacement model and we had to
fit her into the schedule.
I was too
busy for the next several
hours to
think about my
little scarf
dance, and I knew you were so immersed in the body in
front of you, you
didn’t have
any time for me or my inner turmoil.
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Which was just how I wanted it.
I avoided
your eyes and
managed to
make it
through the end of the day without a
conversation about anything
more personal than lights and
props.
Finally, I was in the
studio alone.
The clients were gone.
Danielle was
straightening the dressing
room and you were
somewhere else,
thank goodness.
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I thought about
what had happened, and felt the
tears come to my eyes.
All I was to you was your
ever present
assistant.
You would never
see me as a woman.
Who could blame you with
all the gorgeous
models who
paraded around in front of you,
naked no
less?
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chat not
account. I was not glamorous, or
exotic.
I was just a
regular girl.
A
regular girl who was
crazy about you.
You would never
even notice.
That should have been a
good thing, because it gave me the opportunity to
work through this before it got
even harder.
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