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When the sun
came up the
next day, I was
strapped to a
bed and a
man in a white uniform was
asking me if I knew what day it was.
The certainty of the
previous evening was gone and I had a vague recollection of a
struggle with a policeman and
later a
needle-jab to my
arm.
"I spent six months in the asylum. Anelina
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My
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All I
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find some
way to survive, to
live a life that was
halfway bearable.
I
didn't
care what was
true and what was not.
I begged the
doctors to
brainwash me and
make me back into a robot
like all the
others.
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They
just increased my medication.
"Somehow I adjusted to my
situation.
I pushed my awareness of the true
state of the
world to the
back of my mind
and adopted a 'whatever
gets you through the
night'
approach to
living.
"The doctors considered me a great success when, upon
leaving the hospital, I returned to my career as a painter, painting the
same style of
erotic nudes that had originally made my
name.
"As
long as I was
looking at the
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And
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Now when I looked at my
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seeing the reflection of the moon on the
water, I was seeing the moon itself.
I
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new dawn that I had envisioned on that night, was the
feeling I
got when I looked at a nude woman.
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sight of those soft
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I wasn't a
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through my
veins, envigorating me, stiffening my cock.
Yes, my cock was
very much back in the
picture.
My brain was
not convinced that there was hope, but in my cock I felt the throb of continuing life.
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But
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I knew that it was not them, but what
their beauty symbolised, that would
give me what I needed.
Now that I needed so
little from them, no
more really than their presence, I grew far more tolerant of their
shortcomings, and found that they were quite good company.
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very lucky for me that what I came to
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Once more my paintings
sold.
" "Wait a minute," interupted
Vanessa.
"You said that looking at these beautiful nude women made
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said that you hardly
ever fucked them.
So what were you
doing? Were you
fucking someone else? Were you just
wanking off?
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story?" "Well, that's the strange
thing.
For a while I wasn't doing that much of either.
I just loved the feeling of my cock sticking
out hard in
front of me.
I was content most of the
time to just
let it do that.
Of course,
after a
while it would go down again of its own accord, releasing a dribble of pre-cum in my
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living in some future Eden
where the seperation
between individuals which found its
most severe form in the
robots I had
first seen on that night in
Central Park had entirely disappeared.
The warmth and affection that we feel for others in the
sweetest and tenderest
moments of
our lives were the
casual life-blood
that flowed through us as we lived there among the trees. Clifford chambers
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The feeling of a
beautiful naked woman's
tender smile stiffening my
cock was the
everyday essence of this life
without care.
This
paradise was definitely a
sexy place to be, and yet the
sexual activities that took place there, which gave physical expression to the
all-encompassing
love that
bound together
the individual bodies in a
single entity, was
totally lacking in the frenzied desperation which so often characterises sex
today.
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In fact I sensed that for the others it was not even centred in the genitals but was an all-encompassing
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