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If I
take it
off early you
get to punish me.
Until the
time expires or until I remove it, I will be at
your mercy.
For the punishment, how about we agree that you
can give me fifteen
hard bare-
bottom bare-handed
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then fuck me any
way you
like? Sex
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doesn't make me come, then you can either do it
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watch me do myself.
" "You
said fifteen spanks?
How about we
make it thirty?" For so
long, I've fought recognition of the connection
between sexual arousal and
humiliation, fearing that it meant that my gender was 'designed' by
natural selection or divine purpose to be inferior and
submissive, that '
liberated' is neither a natural
nor a desirable
state for women, that despite the facts that I was an outstanding engineer and that I am
now an
outstanding manager of engineers, my
place in
life was to crave
cock, be
filled with
sperm, make
babies, and accept the inferior status that I acquired by sharing the
same gender as
Eve, the Original
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apple,
and had the audacity to
share it
with her fuck
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This is the advantage of
talking to a shrink.
This clarity about the
source of my inner turmoil
allows me to confront it. Sex
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Being humiliated really turns me on.
With the help of my shrink, I finally admit that to
myself.
It is an uncomfortable
thing to know
about myself, but I've discovered
that it is
very common for
both women and
men, and that makes it not so bad.
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I'm
sure that anthropologists
have biological survival theories for why so
many humans crave temporary sexual degradation to the status of
slaves, but my shrink
has helped me to accept that I
don't
really need a reason, I
just need to practice restraint.
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And that goes
double for the flip
side of my
nature, the occasional
desire to
dominate, to
indulge in the control of my partner.
Ordinary sex
used to
feel great, and hopefully it will again
some day.
But until then, I can push the
boundaries a
little, take it slow, and
strive for
sex within the set of circumstances that makes it
better.
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And it's okay if those circumstances
are humiliating to me or my
partner.
Feeling pain does not turn me on, but spanking me like a
misbehaving child does. Porno
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Sucking a cock does
not turn me on, but
calling me a
whore for doing it lights a
fire in my
pussy.
Losing
control of my
body in the throes of
orgasm is
mildly humiliating, but with the right partner, I can
carefully make it
more humiliating and more
enjoyable.
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I have to
see whether my
husband is the
right partner for this.
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